Many people have asked me why I had suddenly abandoned the ideals that I used to upheld with such high regard to live a life of crime. I assume you are all familiar with the biblical tale of Samson, the man who lost his super strength after getting a haircut. Well the same thing happened to me, except instead of losing my strength I lost my wholesomeness. I went into the salon wanting a new style because I had the close cut look for as look as I could remember. I wanted something daring and what’s more daring then shaving the bottom half of my head? After the hair change I started having strange thoughts, devious thoughts. This drove me to commit villainous action like taking a selfish about free samples at Costco and not separating my recyclables. I think the final sign that showed me that I had gone to the dark side was from my iPod. Every time I would put it on shuffle the first song that would come on was Bad by Michael Jackson.